my vag is so smooth its legendary
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize