She's JV to your varsity
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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