so explain again why im purple
no
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
