dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
