I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
