Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
