What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
