So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you guys were way drunker than both of me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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