I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
