why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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