I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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