I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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