google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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