I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
