so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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