is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
love makes seman taste better
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
