haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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