hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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