im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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