My cat gives me a boner
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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