You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Randomize
