You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
