That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i barfeds in our rink
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
