i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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