Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
