i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
