We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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