If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
