They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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