I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
