Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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