If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
