Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
