; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
