Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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