and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
