a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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