you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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