she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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