I'm jealous of your bromance
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
