How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I would ride that face into the sunset
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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