I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
