im about as happy as oj after his trial
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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