i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize