don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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