This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Screwed.edu
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
a search helicopter?!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
