what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
