If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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