check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
