i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize