I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
