Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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