..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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