I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
