What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
