would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
