quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
