we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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