Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
