Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
