i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
