I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Fuck appropriateness.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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