I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
