Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
