I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
