Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize