my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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