it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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