Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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