I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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