omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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