Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
