Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
