I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
