i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
