Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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